What now?

I like goals. I need goals. Have always needed. I consider myself a very motivated person when it comes to everything and anything I do. However, that motivation always stems from a goal that I have set for myself, whether it is academic success in high school or university or a personal or social milestone I want to reach.

For so long, I’ve had clear, straightforward goals to reach. But now that I have finally graduated from university, I’m at a loss.

When my colleagues were panicking during the last month of school about what they’ll do when they graduate and how lost they’d feel, I was grinning to myself. Seriously guys? You are finally finishing your school journey and the world will be open in front of you and you’re crying and whining over it? C’mon.

Seems that having the wide world and its possibilities open for you is a terrifying terrifying thing. When you choose which school to apply for, there isn’t that much to lose. In the end, you’re going to enter some school. Having to decide your own path in life generally is something totally else.

Should I apply for a job? If yes, then where? Or enroll for masters? Or make a career shift? Take an extra course in something I want to learn? Travel and take time off? Or do nothing perhaps?

The pressure around us naturally makes fresh graduates confused.

“X started a job at Y”
“Z is traveling to F”
you read on Facebook.

What how where why?? Should I be doing those things or what exactly?

For some time now, I’ve been quite confused. I don’t have a goal and I don’t know what my goal should be.

Friends and family have tried to ease my anxiety by assuring me that at 23 years old, I’m in no hurry to do absolutely anything. And I don’t even have to know what to do even.

Maybe I’ll set smaller goals for myself, and stop comparing my journey with others’. After all, I’ve done so many things in the “wrong” order, like getting married after high school and having a child in university instead of the study-work-career-relationship-baby order.

I’ll just try to breathe through it all and have faith that God will guide me to take the right steps in life.

But what now?

Who cares.



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